suzysils:

I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”

(via smilelikeyouneedit)

missespeon:

my brain: there is literaly a 0 percent chance the fictional shit from creepy games will show up irl in your kitchen

me: but its dark and scary

(via myblogextravaganza)

ashxma:

"You only care about yourself" well duh who else is going to do it

(via nathan-is-not-interesting)

fyspringfield:

Read it. 
fyspringfield:

Read it. 

feanorr:

plot twist: humanity learns from its history

(via stormafter)

guy:

being cremated is my last hope of getting a hot, smoking body

(via mrpoohbear)

askmoonmoon:

stellaxtine:

pep pep

smalldog has been knighted and may now be addressed as SIR smalldog

askmoonmoon:

stellaxtine:

pep pep

smalldog has been knighted and may now be addressed as SIR smalldog

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

BRUTAL HONESTY HOUR.

  • A - If I'm in love.
  • B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
  • C - How long it's been since I've kissed.
  • D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
  • E - How many holes I have in my ears.
  • F - Give me any options, like 'hot or cold?'
  • G - The last person I said 'I love you' to.
  • H - The last person I hugged.
  • I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
  • J - Are you insecure. What about?
  • K - What my full name is.
  • L - If I have siblings.
  • M - If I forgive betrayal.
  • N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
  • O - If I like my school.
  • P - What kind of music I like.
  • Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
  • R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
  • S - 2 habits.
  • T - 5 things I love unconditionally.
  • U - How many texts I send daily.
  • V - 3 big dreams.
  • W - An idol.
  • X - If I've done something I regret very much.
  • Y - If I like my town and why.
  • Z - Ask any question you want.

wickndgames:

There were no complaints waking up to this

(via twofingerswhiskey)

drewmichaelchadwicksbutt:

YOU KNOW YOURE IN TOO DEEP WHEN YOU PICTURE YOURSELF SNUGGLING IN BED NEXT TO THEM OR WHEN YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING FUN AND WISH THEY WERE THERE TO SHARE THAT MOMENT WITH YOU OR THE WORST IS WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING AND THINK OH THEY WOULD LIKE THAT

(via twofingerswhiskey)

perchu:

you could read this from right to left or left to right and it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

Best of Autocorrect

damonssalvatoree:

lordofthedawn:

rocknrollercoaster:

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I got to “Dad” and had to scroll down and reblog for a break because I laughed so hard I nearly threw up twice.

"Killing her seems a bit harsh"

(via twofingerswhiskey)

mercurykiss:

gentlemanbones:

camerapits:

themiracleofmusic:

oh.

Actually, I think the kid is playing Minecraft. Which is essentially digital Legos.

Two generations of creative people, just different methods of expression. Let’s not shit on the digital age as much, ‘eh?

You know what’s great about Minecraft?

You don’t get lacerations from stepping on it.

You know what’s great about legos?

Your shit doesn’t get blown up because a green penis snuck up on you.

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)